Through the Mud

Meet Eeyore.
He is Theron's favorite stuffed animal.
He gets carried/drug everywhere.

He gets sat on
hugged
snuggled with
chewed on
laid on.

He has water poured on him
mud smeared on him
rocks thrown at him
things piled on him.

He gets carried to the stroller to join in on the walk,
then dropped in the dirt
and rolled over
and picked back up
and handed back to outstretched toddler arms
to repeat the process again.

Because the love of a toddler is a little traumatic for the object of love.

Eeyore gets washed much less frequently than he should,
because there is no time to wash and dry him between naps
and heaven forbid a nap happen without Eeyore.

Eeyore gets thrown out of the crib in a fit of anti-nap fervor
and then post-Eeyore-throwing remorse immediately sets in
and we hear a mournful wail from the nursery
EEEEYYYYOOOOOORRRREEEEE!!!!
and we have to go and hand Eeyore back, if the nap is going to proceed.

Eeyore gets drug through the mud
and his bedraggled, muddy state,
like that of the Velveteen Rabbit,
bears witness to how much he is loved by a little boy.

The other day, I noted this to my husband, as Eeyore underwent yet another traumatic event in his stuffed life.
"I don't know whether to feel sorry for Eeyore that he is so mistreated, or be happy for him because he is so loved!"
And my wise husband responded,
"Just remember that thought when you feel like you have been drug through the mud -- it is because you are so loved!"

Because the love of a toddler is a little traumatic for the object of love.
But us who are loved by the toddler
wouldn't change it for the world.

Because Eeyores and Mommies are just a little different from regular humans.
Eeyores and Mommies try to see you,
not what you say when you are mad. 

Eeyores and Mommies will snuggle you
when you are covered with snot
and dirt
and who knows what other Toddler Cooties.

Eeyores and Mommies will love you
at your worst.

Even when you drag them through the mud.

I'm so glad that God
is a little bit like Eeyores and Mommies
when I act like a toddler
and my love is a little traumatic.

Going Vegetarian(er) - Part 2

In my last post, I talked about some of the reasons why I (and others) might want to move toward having a little less meat in our diets. I also talked about some of the "thought-process" reasons that keep a lot of people from doing so. In this post, I'd like to share some more practical tips about how to actually go about reducing the amount of meat in your diet without ending up with endless meals of salad. My mom loves salad, so this was never an issue for her. I, however, get tired of lettuce, and my husband firmly believes that lettuce should mostly go toward feeding rabbits. And then we should eat the rabbits.
There are, however, several rather easy methods to ease yourself into a "less meat" diet, without becoming a rabbit-like lettuce eater. Here are some of them!

1. Reduce/ eliminate meat content in dishes you already eat. This is probably the least "system-shocking" method, and the one most likely to sneak its way past a spouse who is still firmly in the carnivore category. Take dishes that you already eat which are "meat-and-something-else" and just reduce the meat content and up the veggie content. You can do this a little at a time, until you have very little to no meat in the dish. Now, choose your dishes carefully: this works far better with spaghetti than it does with roast and potatoes. Your spouse might notice if you served Nugget of Roast with Pile of Potatoes.

For example:
Spaghetti: reduce meat, increase tomato sauce and onions. You can make spaghetti sauce with no meat (gasp), or you can use a little meat for flavor (my preferred method)
Lasagna: same thing. More cheese or veggies (squash goes well in lasagna), less meat.
Other Pasta: Many cheesy pastas don't need any meat at all, or very little. Chicken fettucine alfredo does not need much, if any, chicken. Manicotti can be stuffed with just herbed ricotta. Pasta and pesto is a great no-meat meal.
Soups: Broccoli-cheese-ham soup can have very little ham. Tomato soup and grilled cheese doesn't need any meat. Beans and ham can be done with only Hint of Ham for flavor.
Pizza: Try Hawaiian with very little to no ham (more onions and pineapple), or Mexican with very little ground beef (more beans and corn and cheese), or pepperoni that leans more cheese-ward. Or be adventurous and do a veggie pizza! (green peppers, onions, fresh basil, olives, mushrooms, tomatoes, etc.)

Tropical Pizza toppings

Tropical Pizza

2. Learn to base a meal around a vegetable rather than a meat. If you are anything like I was, when you go to make a meal, you first decide what meat you have to use, and then decide what you are going to do with it. Chicken? Chicken salad, chicken alfredo, fried chicken, etc. Beef? Roast and potatoes, chop suey beef, tacos, etc. My biggest challenge was learning not to start with a meat when planning my meals. What really helped me was learning several good, hearty vegetables that can serve as a "base" for many different meals. For example, pumpkin makes a wonderful "meal base" vegetable. You can make pumpkin soup, pumpkin gnocchi, pumpkin pasta, pumpkin hummus and pitas, curried pumpkin, etc. Look up pumpkin recipes on blogs and recipe websites, especially vegetarian blogs. Do the same with other vegetables: zucchini, sweet potatoes (kaukau), and other squash all make excellent "meal bases."

Pumpkin Curry

3. Make a "side" into a "meal." I knew plenty of recipes that didn't have meat in them -- but they were "side dishes" not "meals." Getting over this distinction in my mind really helped, so that I could take a "side dish" and turn it into the focal point for a real meal! For example, a simple soup becomes a meal if you add a loaf of french bread. Same for a no-meat pasta dish, if you add a salad and a bread. Add side dishes and you suddenly have a complete meal!

Kaukau (Sweet Potato) Soup with French Bread

Creamy Tomato-Roasted Garlic Soup

4. Research and branch into new recipes! I did a LOT of reading vegetarian blogs. They often have ideas for meals I would have never thought of on my own, and the pictures often make me eager to try something new and different, and when you are trying a completely new and different recipe, often the fact that it does not have meat in it is not so noticeable (making it so that you do not have to mention this fact to your significant other). Flavor combinations that I never thought to try before (such as a savory vegetable 'pie' with mustard sauce) and beautiful examples went a long way toward inspiring me to try my hand at "less meat" meals.

Cabbage-stuffed Sweet Potato Steam Buns (Bao)

Some blogs I have found particularly helpful are:

Green Kitchen Stories
My New Roots
Thank Your Body
Naturally Ella

Also, Pinterest has whole vegetarian sections or boards which can lead you to recipes as well as other good blogs to read.

For those living in areas where internet is expensive, you might be encouraged to hear that I have found blogs like this seem to not eat up as large an amount of internet as I was expecting. Not as much as, say, Facebook. Also, try getting new ideas and recipes from other people you know or vegetarian cookbooks if you really don't want to spend the time online. Often e-cookbooks are available on Barnes and Noble.com or Amazon for quite good prices, and you can then read them on your computer or iPad or tablet or eReader.

Mostly, just don't be afraid to try something new! You won't die from a week or two of no/little meat, or a terrible vegetarian recipe. I've made quite a few things that sounded so good on the blog and were so not good on my plate! Hopefully you have a forgiving family --- or perhaps you should try new recipes in small quantities when you are alone in the kitchen! I really enjoyed learning to cook vegetarian recipes because I found that it challenged me to learn new things in cooking rather than sticking with the same old basic recipes. I think that, as a result, I have a much wider range of possibilities when I'm thinking up my meal plan for the week. Don't give up right away because you don't know where to begin or because one meal was a flop. Keep experimenting, and eventually you will become comfortable cooking with different ingredients, and hopefully your grocery budget/ health/ conscience will be better for it!

Pitas, Humus, Pineapple Salsa, and Roasted Cabbage

Going Vegetarian(er) - Part 1

 First off, I am not a vegetarian. I probably never will be. I really, really love steak. A lot.

Ok, now that that is out of the way, I will say that in my house we really only eat meat once or twice a week, and that is usually chicken. We eat a lot of "vegetarian" meals, for a couple of reasons. First, meat is really expensive. This is true in the states, as well as here in Papua New Guinea. Vegetables, if you do not buy them in the exotic, out of season, and organic sections of the grocery store (we don't have those sections at the market across the road), are quite a bit cheaper than meat, and therefore eating semi-vegetarian is a wonderful boon to the grocery budget.

Pastry-Wrapped Asparagus

Second, I just really don't think we need that much meat in a healthy diet. There are quite a few studies indicating that a vegetarian, semi-vegetarian, or otherwise lowish-in-meat diet is quite good for you, especially if you don't go replacing the meat with all kinds of high-carb or highly processed foods like tones of pasta or "tofurkey." Tofurkey, to me, sounds more like something I might give my toddler to play with than something I might actually put in my stomach. Maybe I'm prejudiced.

Anyway, for whatever reason, my family does not eat copious amounts of meat, and we do, quite often, have meals which have never mooed, clucked, quacked, oinked, or bleated. I have recently had several conversations with friends of mine who, for some reason or another, would like to reduce the amount of meat that they consume, but aren't really sure how to do so. I totally understand! A couple of years ago, when I went to make dinner I always would start with a meat and then decide what to do with it. I didn't really know how to even start thinking of a "vegetarian" meal. What would that consist of? Salad? Yuck. Buttered noodles? With… spinach? But over the last couple of years I have gotten to where I am quite comfortable coming up with and eating a meal with no meat in it, and, wonder of wonders, my husband is too! So I thought I would try to share a few tips with those who would like to move in the direction of cooking and eating less meat. In this post, I will suggest some "motivation" tips, and in the next post I will suggest some "practical" tips. (And I'll share some photos of delicious vegetarian meals. For your enjoyment and inspiration.)

First, I would decide why you want to reduce the amount of meat in your diet. Budget? Health? Moral issues? Ease of cooking? Lack of freezer space? Once you nail down exactly why you are wanting to move this direction, then you can better decide how to proceed. For example, if budget or health is your reason, then you might be just as happy cooking meals with just a little meat in them rather than no meat. If ease of cooking is your reason, then putting in just a little meat is probably going to be just as hard as quite a bit of meat, and you may want to actually try completely vegetarian meals. And obviously, if moral issues with eating meat has you wanting to go vegetarian, then you would probably want to cut out meat altogether.

Broccoli-Peanut Pesto with Button Noodles

Second, I would try to determine and deal with any issues that are keeping you from trying to reduce meat in your diet. Is your significant other resistant to the idea?  Are you worried that you might wither away to nothing or get horribly malnourished without the proper "protein" in your diet? Do you just have no idea where to start?

When I started considering a "less meat" diet, I was a little worried that I was going to have problems being properly nourished (I was pregnant at the time with my first child) and that I was going to have SERIOUS problems keeping my extremely active, high-metabolism husband properly fed. I had the idea that, although it is possible to get all your nutrients from a vegetarian diet, it required an in-depth knowledge of the exact nutrient value of each veggie that you consume and careful planning to make sure that you constructed the proper proteins from several different veggies.

Veggie-Cheese Omelet with Avocado and Toddler

 While this may be true for someone going completely vegan, or even perhaps completely vegetarian (I don't know for sure, I've never tried that), it is most certainly not true for a simple reduction of the amount of meat that you are eating. Studies (which I have not the time or inclination to cite here, but you are welcome to go research) have actually shown that the Standard American Diet has way too much meat in it. More traditional societies, as we see here in PNG, eat far less meat. And while I'm certainly not denying the necessity of protein (even meat protein) in our diets, I would argue that we certainly don't need it every meal, or even every day. Again, you are welcome to research this on your own… I have, and although I do not remember all the references I used, I can tell you that this is the conclusion I came to after quite a bit of research, and not just internet blogs. =]

Watermelon-Strawberry Koldskaal

For my husband, I think the penny dropped that he might not require so much meat to be healthy when he met Kulong and Yandu, the two Papua New Guinean guys that he works with. They are quite healthy, rather large, muscular guys, who could probably outwork most American guys with one arm tied behind their backs. These guys eat a rather traditional New Guinean diet, which consist mostly of vegetables. The occasional meat in a traditional diet would be a treat, eaten at a feast or special day, because animals that are eaten are either hunted or grown, not bought at the grocery store and grown in a feed lot. Morgan reported wonderingly to me that Kulong had told him that he ate meat probably once every two or three weeks. From then on, Morgan has been much less worried about making sure he had "enough meat." (we probably eat two or three "meat meals" a week)

Creamy Tomato Penne with Asparagus

All this to say, if the idea that meat is necessary at every meal is what is keeping either you or your significant other from trying to go "less meat," even though you would like to for other reasons, then a little research should help the issue. And if it does not convince your significant other, there is always the "sneak in a vegetarian meal and don't mention the fact that it doesn't have meat and hope they don't notice" method! I used that method for a long time. If, however, you simply don't know where to start in preparing meals without meat, I have some tips to help you get started which I shall share in my next post (because this one is getting a little long).

Live. Laugh. Love.

It's such a cliche.

Valentine's Day: the day for exchanging chocolates and red roses and hoping that some special person will notice you. 

Or the day for having it pointed out in no uncertain terms just how nonexistent your "love life" really is.

 But yesterday, as I was thinking through the "ideal" evening with my own "special someone," something dawned on me. Or, perhaps I should say "re-dawned" because it has occurred to me before. My favorite thing about my husband is that he is my friend. 

I know, that is cliche too. 

But I think that it is often overlooked. So much emphasis is placed on the chocolates and roses and fluffy pink feelings and romantic candlelight dinners and tuxedos (although, I will say, I'm a sucker for my dressed-up husband. With a bow tie.)

My favorite evenings, though, are the ones where we are doing the dishes together and making fun of each other and laughing so hard we can't breathe. 

Or the ones where we are eating by candlelight again, not to be romantic, but because the power has gone out. Again. 

Or the ones where we run outside 

and desperately try to pull all of the dry laundry off the line 

as the first sprinkles of rain begin to fall, 

and we are getting all tangled up the clean clothes and clothesline 

and laughing and tripping over our toddler 

who is trying so hard to help 

and is just managing to be everywhere that is most inconvenient. 

Or the ones where we eat a whole roll of oreos (who decided that so many delicious little cookies should go in one package?) while I read a book and he sits beside me and plays a computer game. 

When we were engaged, we were warned over and over again (perhaps due to our rather short dating time) that after we were married, the fun and romance would wear off, and at some point we were going to have to face the reality that is mundane married life. 

Well… duh. Of course the fuzzy feelings can't last forever, continuously, all the time. 

But friendship can. 

And when we just aren't feeling the starry-eyed romance in the middle of the stuff that is life… 

we can always laugh. 

At each other. 

With each other. 

At life. 

And I think, that is what love really looks like. 

Not chocolates (although I do love chocolate). 

Not roses (not my favorite flower, anyways). 

Not tuxedos (although, refer to the above confession regarding my stance on suits.) 

But love is laughing and rolling up our sleeves and washing the dishes. 

Or sweeping. 

Or stumbling around and finding the matches and candles in the dark so that we can see to finish dinner. 

Or giving the toddler a bath because he sat in a puddle. Again. 

And always, being willing to laugh. 

And live.

And love. 

Whole Foods

I find it funny that "whole foods" is such an expensive, upper-class, exclusive phenomenon surrounded by strange words and fads. True "whole food" is such a simple, obvious thing, that it seems to me that people must have to work very hard to make it so crazy and complicated. There is this idea that you either are a normal person who eats McDonalds and cheap frozen foods, or you are a rich hippie who can afford to eat vegan, paleo, GAPS, organic, raw, Whole Food, health nut stuff. I would like to argue that these are both silly and based on wrong assumptions.

Basically, the idea behind real whole food is that we modern folk eat abnormal things and this makes us chronically sick. This is true for several reasons, all of which fall under the heading of "we weren't made to eat this way." Modern food tends to:
1. Introduce chemicals
2. Process out nutrients
3. Kill all the bacteria

This is bad. First, we were not made to ingest so many chemicals. With the dyes, flavorings, preservatives, etc, present in our fast food, frozen food, canned food, packaged food, we are getting so many chemicals that we our bodies were never meant to process, and this causes our system to have to work overtime to try to deal with all this foreign stuff we are dumping into ourselves.

Second, processed food has so many of the nutrients taken out of it. White flour and white sugar are so processed that none of the original nutritional value of the things they are made from remains, and all we have left is empty calories filling up our bodies without giving us the vitamins we need. This is also true of pretty much any processed food -- the nutrients are greatly reduced or completely gone. Many times companies "add" vitamins in an attempt to make things seem healthy again, but these added vitamins are often in a form that our bodies cannot really absorb or use because they aren't natural (see above paragraph on chemicals). Our bodies store the empty calories as fat, and we gain weight while remaining malnourished!

Finally, we are obsessed with getting rid of bacteria. Bacteria are bad, bad, bad. They make us sick, they are horrible little germy things. We buy products to "kill 99.9% of bacteria!", and dump bleach all over our houses and antibacterial solution all over our hands. We also make darn sure that there are NO bacteria in our food. Now, of course, many bacteria are indeed bad. They do indeed make us sick. We indeed should take measures to avoid these pathogenic bacteria. However, what we have too often lost sight of is the fact that bacteria are also necessary to life! Our digestive system requires bacteria to digest food! These beneficial bacteria are called "probiotics" and we really need them. Unfortunately, the unnatural ways that we process food (such as feed lots) produces mutated really horrible bacteria (such as pathogenic E. coli), and we have to pump antibiotics into our food then to make sure we don't die. This virtually eliminates even the bacteria our bodies actually need to thrive and to work properly we have to replace them -- hence the popularity of fad/"whole food" probiotic things such as yogurt, kefir, kombucha, etc.

In a nutshell, these are some of the main things wrong with the way we eat. There are whole books written on the subject, degrees in the issue, and much much more to say and better ways to say it... but if you want to hear more, you can go read the books. (see the end of this post for a list of resources) Whole food, then, is basically the idea of feeding our bodies what they were made to process. This is raw foods (rather than over-cooked, which kills many nutrients), chemical-free foods (this is the idea behind the "organic" fad), naturally grown foods (eliminating the need for antibiotics since they don't have the mutated superbad bacterias that some abnormally grown stuff has), and non-processed foods (such as whole grains and non-sugary foods). Fortunately, you do not have to be rich to eat this way! I am a rather "poor" recent college graduate, and I feed my little family of two and a half (the six-month-old only counts as half, food-wise) on less than $200 per month, without growing a garden or keeping a goat or anything like that. We eat mostly whole food, and while certainly not perfect, I think that we eat quite healthily. We are not vegan or vegetarian or paleo or GAPS or dairy free or gluten free, or anything like that: we just try to eat real food. If I can make it at home out of all ingredients that I know, then I try to. This does take a bit of time in the kitchen, but I think the pay off is worth it!

SO, all that to say, I really think that eating "whole" food is well worth the time and effort, and does not have to cost an arm and a leg. I think that eating "whole" food does not have to take over or define your life. I think our diets can often accommodate a LOT of "wholification" (if I may make up a word) long before they become ridiculous.  I think it can be as cheap if not cheaper than "normal" food. And I'd like to prove it to you, here on this blog. Stay tuned. :)

Books/ resources:
 Note, the opinions in these books are not necessarily all shared by me. I think all of these people can get a bit carried away and sensationalist. Nevertheless, most of them do make some good points.

Folks, This Ain't Normal  by Joal Salatin. Talks about the "abnormality" of modern food. See: http://www.folksthisaintnormal.com/

Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser. Talks about the nutritional, moral, and social problems of modern fast food. See: http://www.amazon.com/Fast-Food-Nation-Dark-All-American/dp/0547750331

http://allnaturalfoods.com/ is a website about natural foods, diseases, and the relationship between food and whole health.

The Painful Implications of Gratefulness

I have no recipe today for you... but I do have a few thoughts. I have been learning a lot recently, and the thoughts bouncing around in my head demanded an outlet. Lucky you, you get to hear them as my outlet.

My relationship with God is a long story of struggle.
Sometimes I think that Jacob got off easy with just one night of fighting with God... I sometimes feel like I never stop fighting with God.
I am an independent person.
No-one tells me what I should do, how I should feel, who I should be.
I need my life to make sense, to be under control.
I need to be in control.
And God does not fit nicely into that need.

And so we fight.
I struggle.
I give in a little.
I take it back.

And then I blame God because there is no joy in my life.
Why no joy? I yell at Him.
You are supposed to give me joy.
 I have none. 
You are failing.

How arrogant I am.

I have been reading a book recently called One Thousand Gifts. It has continued me on a path that I have been on for some time, that of gratefulness. Oddly, it would seem that gratefulness is the key to a lot of things. A lot more than I thought at first.
The author of this book challenges me to begin giving thanks for everything, to begin acknowledging the gifts of God every day, in every situation. To literally practice being grateful for everything.

When I began this practice, only a week ago, I began it for me.
I wanted, I needed joy in my life.
My controlling tendencies drive me to stress and depression far too often, and I needed to get out of the cycle once again.
This seemed like a good way.

It seemed like a tame, easy way to access joy for my life.  
Thank you for the sunshine. 
Thank you for warm bread. 
Stop, be thankful, feel joyful, move on.

Being grateful seemed like such a simple, easy thing to do. It is fun, stopping to acknowledge and thank God for the warmth of the sunshine stretching golden through my kitchen window.

And yet, I found, that gratefulness, when put into practice for a while, even a week, begins to pull and pick at surprising places. The act of seeing each thing as a gift from God for right now to be thankful for has far-reaching consequences.

If this thing before me is an extravagant gift from God for this moment, then... I have no inherent right to it. Nothing I did means that I deserve this thing. Nothing I can do will ensure that I will never lose it.

To give thanks for a thing is to face the fact that I did not earn it, and it may go away. It may be gone tomorrow. And that, when it is gone, I have no right to throw a fit, to be angry,  because it was not mine to begin with. 
If I give thanks for this gift from God, I am acknowledging that it is God's. Not mine.
I have no rights. 

For a control freak like me, and perhaps like every human on the planet, it is painful for me to face that idea over and over every day.
It is more painful than I expected to acknowledge each thing for what it is: a fleeting, temporary, extravagant gift that God is allowing me to enjoy today. 
And yet... it is freeing. Painful, yes. But freeing, too.
For, if it is not mine, if I have no right to it, then I do not have to grasp it, to hold on to it, to attempt to control it.
My emotions can go toward enjoying it and being thankful for it, rather than toward worrying about losing it, and trying to hold on to it.

And my demands and requests of God, my worries and stresses begin to be turned on their heads.

Please give me security. 
Thank you for a roof over my head today. 

Keep my husband safe. 
Thank you for the privilege of living life with my husband today. 

Make my baby whole and perfect. 
Thank you for making my baby exactly the way You need him to be. Thank you for choosing me to be his mother. 

Why would you take away this house, make us find another? 
Thank you for Your perfect plan.  

Give me joy.
Thank you for today. 

How simple.
How hard.
I have no claim on tomorrow.
Thank you for today.

     

How Marvelous is Thy Handiwork....

literally.

Yesterday and the day before I was able to hang out at the Operating Theatre, and watch surgeries. How amazing is that?! NOW I have to figure out how to spread my time between school, shadowing a doctor, watching surgeries, and work (ehm, work= computer coding).

There were several surgeries yesterday and today, but the one that really was amazing was a hand repair. A guy came in with his hand chopped up... uhm, I'm not exaggerating. The tendons were cut in two different places... all of them.
Doctor Jim and Doctor Niles spent almost two hours carefully locating each part to each tendon, matching up the pieces, and sewing them together. Let me tell you, it does NOT look like that nice, clean, neat, obvious picture that's in my Anatomy textbook. How is one supposed to know if THIS particular thing is the tendon to the first finger?!

I was reading in Psalms the other day... you know that familiar verse that says I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made... marvelous is Thy handiwork and that my soul knows right well. ... or something like that (I don't have a Bible in front of me).... Well, as I watched those doctors put a hand back together, that verse took on new meaning. Something as seemingly simple as a hand.... is not so very simple at all.

Then, yesterday I was able to actually scrub in and help with a surgery! ... and that was very cool.

Living in PNG

Well, we have been in PNG a few weeks now.... and people keep asking me what's it like? Do I like it? Have I adjusted?

Well... this blog post can't answer those questions completely, because I'm never quite sure of the answer myself at any given time! But I shall try.

PNG is awesome.... I still am glad that this move took place before I have to leave for university, so that I am getting a chance to be in the place where my parents and brother will live after I leave.

This place is very different from Fiji.... probably more similar to Fiji than to the States, but still, very different. Much of the cultural protocol I grew up with doesn't apply here. The language I learned to stumble through with much sweat and tears is met here with blank looks. The friends which I am used to seeing twice or three times in a week, are suddenly nowhere to be found.

However, I am learning new cultural protocol. I am learning a new language (Tok Pisin is much easier than Fijian, let me tell you!) I am learning to love a new people, and am making new friends. This country will never replace the one that raised me. These friends will never replace the ones that have put up with me through my teens. But I'm coming to accept that perhaps they don't have to. Perhaps.... I don't have to let go of the old country to embrace the new. Perhaps they both can have a place in me. I already have two homes. Maybe it's time to add another.

Over the last few weeks, I have cried... But I have also laughed... so hard that I cried! What a wonderful life God has given me.

I have been keeping pretty busy over the past few weeks... school, of course, in the MK highschool, which I have enjoyed after having been homeschooled all my life. (Of course, I'm still using Sonlight Curriculum, Luke, don't worry.) I have shadowed Uncle Andy several times... if I keep enjoying it as much as I have been, I will simply have to go into the medical field! I have made a trip into Mt. Hagen and to the market... pretty awesome market there. It's a bit bigger than Suva market and Singatoka market; but along those same lines. Only lots more variety. Even strawberries!

Yesterday we had a farewell service for the Sweseys and Thrashers, who have been missionaries to PNG for 10 years (Sweseys) and 20 years (Thrashers). Also present at the farewell was a mumu... the PNG version of a lovo. The food was about the same as is present at a Fijian lovo, with the exeption of the sweet kaukau replacing the dalo. I think I like kaukau better (sorry, Fiji).

Last night we had a movie night over at Uncle Andy and Aunt Judy's house with a bunch of the missionaries. We all took snacks, of course! We watched The Princess Bride, which looks like a sappy movie from the cover, but is actually really funny. And did you know that the title on the cover of the DVD is the same right-side-up and up-side-down? No seriously! Look at it next time you happen to see it. Quite clever, these movie peoples.

Also, this last week was my friend Oliver's birthday. I couldn't post a happy birthday blog ON his birthday, so I'm putting in in here today. Happy Birthday Olli!

Well, that is all I have time for this morning [audience breathes a sigh of relief].
From the ends of the earth,
Danielle

Call Me Shadow

Just wait a few paragraphs, and I'll explain the title. We probably need a little background first.

Background Fact 1: Our family has moved to Papua New Guinea.

Background Fact 2: We are currently living on the mission station at Kudjip Nazarene Hospital.

Background Fact 3: This is near Mt. Hagen, in case you want to pull out your map of PNG. (you do have a map of PNG, don't you?)

Background Fact 4: It's really cold here. ... That is totally irrelevant, but I thought you might like to know.

Background Fact 5: I am quite interested in the medical field, trying to decide whether to go into it myself and if I do, what to go into it AS. So, living here is a dream-come-true for me.

NOW we get to the title. Uncle Andy Bennett (that's a link to his blog, which is awesome, go check it out, that's an order) gave us a tour of the hospital soon after we got here. At the end he mentioned that if we wanted to "shadow" a doctor we were welcome to... we could follow them around all day as they did rounds and saw patients. Thinks I to myself, omgosh, I would love to do that.

Sooo, yesterday I shadowed Uncle Andy. I had an awesome time! I didn't get queasy all day, which, if I'm going into medicine, is a good thing. Now, Mum and Dad got queasy when I was telling them about my day........
I'm trying now to figure out what is the minimum amount of days I can squeeze the last of my school classes into so that I can spend the most amount of days at the hospital. I think Uncle Andy may be stuck with a new shadow.
Ehm, small clarification here, .... that is not to be construed as meaning that I don't like the MK highschool, I love it, and Katie (the teacher) is awesome.

Now, I would love to post pictures of our house, and the hospital, and all that, but I am prevented because my camera batteries decided to die, and my camera decided not to like the new batteries that I have. It wants different ones. I tried to reason with it, and tell it that it didn't need fancy special batteries EVERY SINGLE time; it could compromise and take next-level-down batteries once in a while, couldn't it? But it would not listen, and held firmly to it's attitude, which is really selfish of it. So. Until such time as I can get the batteries that my camera wants, I guess there shall be no pictures. Sorry, people. Blame my camera, not me. I tried.

And now this First Blog Post from Papua New Guinea shall come to an end....
I love it here, I think God has blessed our family greatly by calling us here, and I'm so glad that we came before I leave for university.
I do, of course, miss Fiji... after all, it was my home for 8 and a half years, since I was 9.
I miss my friends terribly; but have only cried about that once.
But God knows what He is doing, and I do love the place He has brought me to for this time in my life, and the people He is allowing me to get to know. I'm so glad He is in control of my life!.... He seems to be doing a pretty good job.

Love from the ends of the earth,
Danielle

When God Whispers

I'm not the kind of person that normally listens to hymns. My iPod pretty much has the same songs on it as the internet radio station TheBlast.fm (that's Christian Rock; don't follow that link unless you like fairly hard music). My favorite bands are Disciple, Skillet, etc.... you get the point. 

But, I play the piano, and one of my favorite pastimes is to play... hymns! I have this big ol' hymnal (the large version of "Sing To the Lord" by the Nazarene church, for those of you who are interested)  and I'll play for hours, just turning the pages and playing whatever comes up. Usually, I do this when I'm stressed... or frustrated... or tired. Some of my best times with God have been while playing hymns on the piano. I guess, because it's different than what I normally listen to, it's something special... and the words to some of those classic hymns are incredible. 

I have my old favorites... How Firm a Foundation (you have to sing every verse to that song); Oh the Deep Deep Love of Jesus (love the tune to that one)... but once in a while I'll find a brand-new one that I have never heard before. And sometimes the words will just hit me over the head... it's like God just reaches down, taps me on the shoulder, and goes "I have something to say to you right now. Listen to this." 

That happened this afternoon. 

I've been a bit stressed lately. I'm extremely excited about this next chapter of life, but today, nevertheless, I was stressed. Several things play into that. Moving is a stress anytime. Add that to moving away from where I grew up. To a brand new country. To be followed closely by another move and the start of college. Leaving friends (that is proving pretty difficult for me). Annnd then... a close friend of mine's dad passed away a few days ago. 

Add that to stupidly small things, like frustrations of trying to work out plane reservations on the phone, and making sure my suitcase is under 20kg; and you have a very stressed Danielle sitting down to the keyboard this evening. Ehh... maybe God just thought it was time to remind me of a few truths.

I was playing a favorite (Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah), and then turned the page to hymn number 97. I'd never seen it before, but just started playing at the beginning without reading the words first... reading them for the first time as I played.

Well, the tune is amazing too; but I can't put it on my blog easily; so the words will have to do. I started crying halfway through the first verse.

Be still my soul; the Lord is on thy side. 

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In ev'ry change He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heav'nly Friend

Thro' thorny ways leads to a joyful end. 

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul; the waves and wind still know 

His vioce who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hast'ning on 

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

It's a Small World

It is! They (the omnicsient They) say that every person is only six people away from everyone else in the world.... So, you know someone who knows someone who knows someone... and in six layers out, you know the whole earth. I think an exception must be made, though, for missionary kids... I mean, the sheer volume of people we know.... in the number of countries we know them in. Rarely does someone mention a country that I do not say "hey, I have a friend there!" (or at least think it) I mean, I have friends from everywhere from France to Argentina to Switzerland (hi Rachel!) to Dungog, Australia. (you knew that was coming, Olli.) 

Well, anyway, where I was going with this is that it's about time to leave Fiji, because we can't walk a block in town without stopping to chat with someone we know.... day before yesterday, in Suva, in one store-complex (what we call a mall...a tiny, tiny mall) we met 7 people that we knew... stopped and talked with, found out how their cousin-brothers were doing, etc. By the time we got to the car, we were laughing and saying that it was about time to leave this country and go make some new friends... we know everyone here! 

So, yeah, that's my random thought of the day.

Design and Dedication

Today I spent several hours updating the design on one of the websites I... uh... webmaster. In today's world, you kind of have to have a new design every few months or you are "outdated," "old-fashioned," or just plain... *gasp* ... "over." If you come up with something good -- a good design, an awesome layout-- well, it will be amazing... for a couple months. Then, it will be finished. And what was incredible and cutting-edge two months ago is now as old-fashioned as last week's spaghetti. I mean... at one point, the blinking marquee was IN.

(for those of you who are not web geeks, the blink and marquee tags are *shudder* very outdated)

Good design isn't enough. Good coding isn't enough. What is necessary is good design... again. A new one. Moving forward. Updating. Trying something new. Fixing the bugs. 

It got me to thinking...

See, week before last I was going through a Beth Moore Bible study. I was quite happy with myself, I had actually stuck with the thing for a few weeks. Something new... something good... moving forward. Good, eh? 

Last week I had a flu. I was struggling just to finish my school work and drop back into bed. So, I skipped the Bible study. And... I haven't gotten back to it. 

The dedication of two weeks ago didn't carry me into this week...  last week's spiritual victory doesn't guarantee that this week will be fine and dandy. As a matter of fact, yesterday's lovely attitude doesn't apply to today. As a MATTER of fact... the good work of the last minute doesn't apply to this minute. The decision to conform to Christ's character has to be a decision made every single minute, in a new way. The last amazing act of kindness I did doesn't earn me brownie points to avoid the next one that will be required of me.

Soooo.... yes, I will set my alarm clock tonight, and do my Bible study tomorrow morning. 

And that's my sermon for today. Just thought I'd share.

-Danielle